The coronavirus has hit us – all of us without exception – like a bolt from the blue. Some of us are no longer there, and those of us who are still there are trying to live as we do. Many people lose their faith, many are wobbly, afraid and sad. Add to that the political and economic situation in our country (Poland), this demanding season, which is autumn and you can break down.
My faith is in crisis
About two weeks ago, I heard God’s question, Will you be serving people with my support?
Of course, I agreed, not knowing exactly what that meant. I didn’t wait long. The next day I got about 6 messages from my friends and they were all on the same tone:
I feel bad / Because of what is happening my faith is in crisis / I think I’m depressed / I’m afraid for the future / Does God see what is happening? And so on.
When I prayed for what to write back to each of them (I can’t comfort people at all!) I got a word from God to send all these people the words from Malachi 3, 20
But to you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will break out leaping, like calves released from the stall.
When I read it, I felt an incredible joy bursting through my interior! I wasn’t in a crisis, I wasn’t broken, but these words cheered my whole interior! So I happily forwarded them. Over the next few hours, I got feedback that was something like this:
Wow !! This is just for me !! / How do you do that, that you read my mind ?! / Right now I was crying out to God for some comfort! This is my promise God made me a while ago !!
Someone else shared a concern with me that there might be a food shortage situation. On the same day, when I was spending time with God, also praying for my friends, I just opened the Bible with the words that „God will make you never run out of food.”
That’s God’s Word at the right time.
Why am I not broken
I am a human being like each of you. Like probably every human being, I do not automatically adapt to a new, surprising situation. The changes are fearful and throw you out of the familiar, safe rhythm. Just…. I have never had it one hundred percent. Therefore, the situation with covid is not a big surprise to me, and when it appeared, I realized that I had been prepared for this by God for the last 15 years. How? Numerous experiences. In a word. God’s love and His presence in every moment of my life. Dreams. Warnings. And again with the assurances that He is with me.
15 years ago
When I decided to dedicate my whole life to God, I set myself up for what would fall on my head in connection with this. I set myself up for the fact that many people would move away from me, that my long-term relationship would probably end, that maybe I would have serious problems with my job, that I might die for believing that the fate of this world would finally come to an end. The denomination in which I was firmly believed that we are living almost on the „eve” of Christ’s return – and, following the words of the Bible, groundbreaking and terrible things will happen. And I accepted it all, well! I was even waiting for it!
During these 15 years, many changes have occurred in my life. For 10 years I have been leading a fairly stable life – I have a regular roof over my head, I know what time I will eat dinner, I have warmth at home and a lot of love around me. And I got used to it. Let’s say that I am fine in life. I have no reason to continue joyfully waiting for the end of the world. And yet I am waiting with joy. During these 15 years, I have not forgotten that my ultimate goal is to return home.
I have always had this approach that prepared myself for the worst, for the greatest difficulties. When I was about to pass an exam that was important to me, I was learning much more than it was necessary, counting on mega difficulties – as a result of this, when I got my hand on the language exam sheet, I thought it was a joke! That someone was wrong – the questions seemed child’s play to me.
When I started being a believer and was told that maybe someone would kill me for my faith – I quickly digested it, accepted it and expected it; in any case, it wouldn’t be a surprise to me. When more people moved away from me – this is what I expected earlier. Mentally, I set myself up for difficulties and at the same time knew who would help me get through them. That’s the only reason why I didn’t break down and I don’t break down.
Who’s Afraid of the Apocalypse?
The Revelation is perhaps the most frightening book of the Bible, although its translation is completely innocent – „exposed”. Some people don’t believe them, others believe and fear all these things, and still others just trust God. I am one of those who believe but trust. I know these words are also true. But I am going to the Father’s House – so I look beyond all the evil that is happening. My spirit will survive this, even if my body ends its journey early. My spirit has become in sync with God’s spirit and my only goal is to be in this relationship.
I know from experience that the apocalypse is afraid of those who do not yet know God, do not know His character and love. Today is the time to change that and make a decision.
What helps in the crisis?
Looking back. Remembering what God has ALREADY done for us, which he has ALREADY brought us through, how much He cared for us. If He tells us to „endure to the end,” it means that He is also faithful to the end! He will not leave us on the way ESPECIALLY in a crisis!
I have a notebook in which I write down my various experiences with God – and I go back to them! It only reassures me that my God is alive, that He knows what is happening every minute of my life.
Today I don’t ask „God why? !!” just „What do you want to tell me through (this situation)?”, „What do you want to teach me?”.
When I did not know how to pray, what words to use, how to overcome discouragement and tension, I heard WORSHIP! – when I started doing it, I had the feeling that I was just changing the course of history! – at least… your spirit! Adoration against all odds! It has the power.
I don’t trust my emotions. I have been through so much with God that these 15 years seem to me to be the journey that Bilbo Bagins made with the dwarves.
We go further and together (with God) we defeat all these monsters on the way so that each day brings us closer to this one and only dream meeting when we fall into our arms!
In this situation, the words are still relevant:
„There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” (Luke 21: 25 – 28)
We should also remember that we – believers – are not prepared to play, rest, or easily go through life – no one needs to be prepared for this – we are just naturally designed for it!
But we must be prepared for difficulties. We need to be prepared to show trust. For a bad time check. It is in difficult situations that the whole human character comes out. As Szymborska said – one of my life’s „hymns”:
“We know ourselves only as far as we’ve been tested.”
When there were times when we sat safely in our armchairs or on the chairs in the church and read the words of the apocalypse, like a good science fiction novel, maybe now we have entered the time when we have to confront how much we have trusted in God over the years since we claim to „walk” with Him. Maybe now is the time to let God burn us out of the rest.
Whenever I hear the song „So Crush Me, Break Me So” I wonder if every person who sings it really knows what they are really singing about? Because it is in other words:
I give up myself for you, I agree to any amount of pain, to every breakup, loss – I will bear everything because I believe that you are leading me on the right path, at the end of which a crown of justice awaits me.
Break me so break me so break me
Burn me out,
so that only you remain, forever you
For several months, whenever I spend time with God, I open the Bible on two assurances (these are various quotes with the same message):
1. There will be difficulties, there will be a hard time, and the ground will shake.
2. I will never leave you. I am with you every moment and I will be with you.
If necessary, go back to where you started to fear – and believe that God is holding your hand and leading you (even right now as you read this) on the right path. He too is already dreaming about a goal – a place where you will meet.
In bad times
– look back and remember all the difficult times that you went through with God
– start writing down words from God, dreams, quotes brought to you by the holy spirit
– an absolutely great way: START LOVING !! Worship breaks down any fear, dissipates the bad energy that has accumulated in you, worship is acting against what the world is proclaiming now! (fear, insecurity, control)
– do not rely on your emotions, but on your path with God and on His Word.
– look for people who have prophetic words and will serve them.
– do everything in reverse: adore and rejoice! (Philippians 4: 4 :)!
Bless you a lot!